2012 Reflections

There is a lot I have learned in 2012 that has changed my life for the better, and occasionally for the worst. I'm not a sappy person, I'm really not. In fact, I really hate when people get all sentimental and emotional and reflect on their past, share inspiring quotes 24/7, all that fun stuff. 

I'm not going to sit here and say that 2012 was my year of metamorphosis. I'm not going to sit here and say that with the beginning of 2013, there will be a "new year, new me." It's not my goal to mindfully try to change myself throughout the year. I believe that change just happens, whether it was intentional or not.

I know that in the beginning of 2012, I really did want to change. On the very first day of the year, I met and sat down with my trainer for the very first time in an effort to clean up the mess that had become my life.

I was fragile, mentally and emotionally. I was miserable, and I really get bothered when people wish misery on someone they don't like because I feel that any person who hasn't done a horrible crime does not deserve misery. I would not wish that upon anyone.

I've learned a lot about myself that deep down, I knew was there but didn't know how to reveal it. Ultimately, I am super independent. I tend to rely only on myself, and no one else. In certain circumstances this is a good thing, especially if you consistently let people push you over, but honestly, everyone needs someone to confide in. When I had something bothering me, I would not tell a single soul because I honestly believed that no one cared. But that is not true. Someone does care. I have learned this.

I've also learned that sometimes, when life pushes you down, you can obviously just let yourself fall or your can pick yourself back up and begin again. It's much easier to just stay on the ground, isn't it? But the satisfaction is so much greater when you get back on your feet. The best way to turn away negativity is to beam a smile. Try it.

I'm sometimes too blunt, and sometimes too abstract. My mood changes with the flick of a switch. I can be completely and utterly satisfied one minute, and then absolutely irritated to no end the next. And the people who know this and are STILL by my side are the ones I value in my life.

To some of my blogger friends... Alexandra, you are my SOUL SISTAH. We have so much in common and it honestly makes me so sad that you live so far away. But distance doesn't matter! Because you are awesome and one day we shall meet and be big fitness geeks and I am 100% okay with this. :) Alek, you are a great kid and I could not be more happier that you e-mailed me this July and that I was able to help you. You inspire me to be a better person. Katie, you are a fantastic girl with such a bright future, words can't even put together how big you will make it one day. Shine bright like a diamond.

Here's some pictures of the people that have hugely impacted my year. A big thank you goes out to them. Love you all. <3

McKenna, my partner in crime. You know I love you and all that you have done for me. <3

Daddio <3

Mamabear <3

The broski, Quin <3

Ashley <3

Mar-bear! <3 And McKenna again. :)

Steve!

Mike!

Thanks to all these awesome people. There were a lot more but I didn't want a whole page of pictures. I hope everyone has a great New Years and I WILL be blogging more frequently, that is a promise! :)

Comparing Yourself To A Victoria's Secret Model

So who watched the Victoria’s Secret fashion show last week or so? I didn’t. But I know a number of people did and there are a few things I would like to address.

As I was reading the tweets on my timeline, all I was rereading repeatedly was how girls my age wish they “looked like the Victoria’s Secret models.” Well, that’s great and all but it really struck a nerve in me.

Yes, I completely concede to the fact that these women have absolutely stunning bodies. While my ideal body is not quite as thin as these women, I commend them for maintaining such great physiques if done in a healthy manner. We all know the red flags that come with keeping in shape for modeling. 

With that being said, I don’t think they exemplify reality for most girls. I’m sick and tired of seeing a Victoria’s Secret model on the cover of Shape magazine, giving all her little nutrition and fitness tips. “I eat greens with fish for lunch.” “I drink a lot of water.” “Moderation is key, and sometimes when I want a nibble of a decadent cookie, I’ll take a miniscule bite and call it a day.”

I always thought Alessandra Ambrosio was stunning.

Oh, and their “workouts” really get me. Using 5 lb. dumbbells at most, their workouts almost entirely consist of core exercises (to achieve those perfect lines in the stomach) and butt and hip exercises to lift the butt and makes the hips appear thinner. And there is almost always a yoga sequence that many models claim give them their “svelte physiques.”

Alright, here’s the blunt of the rant… first and foremost, no one in reality has the time in a day to devote to the meal planning and workouts of these models. They have personal trainers, personal chefs, and nutritionists that cost thousands of dollars to help them keep their stunning physiques. Their chefs make them their healthy meals, their trainers pound them into the ground for hours a day and their nutritionists can help them monitor what is going into their bodies.

They can claim in these little “fitness” magazines all they want about what the “right” way to get their bodies are but this will not actually happen. In reality, keeping those figures of theirs IS their job. Spending hours a day on a treadmill and doing endless core/butt/hip exercises is what they do. Everyone else realistically may a job to go to, may have school to go to, may have children to look after, must make their own healthy meals, does not have as much money as these models, etc. 

It completely and utterly irks the hell out of me when these models want to give their little health tips giving off the false impression that if they can do it, well then good golly gosh everyone can! -_- 

NO. 

And it seriously bothers me when girls my age only seem to watch the fashion show to compare their looks to those of the models.

It doesn’t seem (to me, at least) that the purpose of the fashion show is to show off the new Victoria’s Secret fashions; rather it is the chance for the girls of the world to consciously or subconsciously compare their bodies to the models’ and for the guys to swoon over the sexy ladies strutting their stuff across the catwalk. 

Here’s my main point… GIRLS. It is not realistic to vie to have the bodies of the models because it is a large component of their career to look that way, in which they have many hours of the day to focus on keeping in shape. Doing their workouts and following their “example diet plans” to a T is NOT going to get you their bodies. I wish a model would get interviewed by a women’s “fitness” magazine and say “Look, I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you. I have a trainer, chef, and nutritionist. I also have a nanny to take care of my kids for me while I’m busting my ass in the gym”, instead of giving these “tips” that falsely lead a gullible girl to believe that they can achieve that look too if they do the exact same thing.

And lastly, I DO appreciate the hard work that goes into their bodies, however I am going to share my HONEST opinion (so no one attack me). I think these models are too damn thin. Their arms are so skinny and their legs are like sticks. I probably sound pretty damn harsh but that is how I feel. I personally believe that obtaining muscle and having a little more meat on the bones is much more ideal for me. But to each his own, I suppose. I’ve BEEN that thin and coming from personal experience, I didn’t like the way I felt physically OR mentally, so trust me when I say that being “thin” does not equate to happiness.

Questions: How did you feel about the fashion show? What are your thoughts on this subject?

Making My Career Dreams Reality

If you are a teenager, you may be going through what I am going through in thinking about my future right now. What do I do? Which direction do I choose? How do I get there? All these questions bombard my head and sometimes it becomes a bit overwhelming.

If you have been a teenager, you may remember feeling this way at some point in your own life as well. I've always been very ambitious, and sometimes my ambition does not work in my favor because I get too antsy for the future instead of sitting back and enjoying my life now. 

Over the past few months, I've had many long contemplation sessions about what I want to do with my life. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian. In 3rd grade, when I discovered that I had to put many animals down, this was out of the question. Then, I wanted to be a teacher. But then I realized I would have to deal with one too many children and I just can't do that. Talk about a massive migraine. I moved on to wanting to be a marine biologist, but eventually I realized that since I didn't live near the ocean, the profession just was not for me. Next was a psychologist, which I have expressed my wants for becoming on the blog before. And although I still am really intrigued by psychology, I'm going to be real honest with you all--I do NOT want to go through 8 years of schooling. No can do.

Without a doubt, I know I want my career to be fitness-related since it truly is my #1 passion in life. I feel as if that the career I have one day should make me happy and not miserable like millions of Americans wasting away at their desk jobs. 

I have decided on majoring in physiology and minoring in business. I want to become a trainer and lifestyle coach for those who don't know how to get healthy without a little push. I want to have my own business, and I want it to be big.

(source)

Yup. That's me. But I also really want to be a fitness model. Yes...I said it. So many people when you tell them that you want to do any kind of modeling always seem to be very skeptical and think that it's hard to get into. Well, obviously it is. But if you know me, you know that I don't stop until I reach my goals. I'm definitely not someone that will give up just because it takes a little extra hard work.

I love seeing pictures like this because I know that one day that will be me (notice I said "will" and not "might):

(source)

I think seeing shots like this show off the beauty there is to be seen with muscle, on both males AND females. I think it's beautiful and I do not see it cast in a "sexy" light. I'm not like that. I want to show off what I've worked hard for in the gym and the kitchen, sorry I am not sorry.

And you all obviously know that among being a trainer/fitness businesswoman and fitness model, I want to be a figure competitor.

The ever so lovely Nicole Wilkins. (source)

That has been a HUGE dream of mine from the beginning and I can't wait to turn 18 to start competing. I know it will happen. I know that if I push myself towards my dreams, they will become reality.

I've told numerous people so far about my goals for my future, and many of these people have flat out told me that it seems unrealistic, that physiology isn't a popular nor great major, that a owning a fitness business is impractical, that wanting to be a fitness model seems quite silly, and that competing in figure competitions is just straight up ridiculous.

Well, sorry, but at least I have goals and I want a career that will make me happy some day, not miserable. :) 

Questions: What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now? Have you reached the goals/dreams you set out for yourself?

Cherishing My Loved Ones

If you all follow me on Instagram, I'm sure you are aware what happened last night.

Yes, that is me hanging over the side of my brother's hospital bed and snapping a picture as he was laughing because he was a little drugged up.

So here's what went down:

My brother doesn't go to the gym with me. He likes his alone time at the gym and I completely understand because I am the same way. I had gone to the gym earlier and had come home. By the time I got home, my brother had already left himself to go to the gym.

My mom and I had just gotten back from the grocery store and I had gotten in the shower. As I was coming out, all I heard from my mom as she was frantically running around grabbing things was "CAR ACCIDENT. QUIN (my brother's name). AMBULANCE. HOSPITAL. GOTTA GO. NOW." 

With that, my parents fled the house and I was left to wonder what the hell was going on. I've never felt so scared in my entire life. The unknown is a seriously terrifying thing. I had a complete and utter meltdown. I was imagining what my life would be without my brother. I lost it.

Eventually, my dad had come back to pick me up. My Twitter page was buzzing with people talking about this huge accident on the main road in my town, and many of them saying that they were praying for the people in the crash. This scared me out of my wits because at this time I had no idea about the extent of the injuries inflicted upon my brother or the two drivers that were also in the crash.

My dad explained to me this: There were two female drivers in the other car. On the main road in my town, their light turned red as my brother was prepared to turn left. He had gotten the green arrow and was beginning to turn, but the driver in the other car decided to run the red and smashed head-on into my brother. 

The car was destroyed. As my dad and I drove past the scene of the accident, there was so much traffic, blaring lights from nearly half the police coming to the scene, another ambulance, and the two cars which were annihilated to shreds. But I don't even care about the car. I was adamant on getting to my brother.

We drove to the hospital, all the while my heart was beating like a maniac. I couldn't wait to walk into his room and see him for myself. When I got in there, I couldn't hold back my tears. He was bruised everywhere and he could barely keep his eyes open. But he was okay. I have never felt more relieved in my entire life. I wanted to jump up and down with joy but sit down and cry at the same time.

After a long night at the hospital, we left. His clavicle is popped out of place and he has some pretty bad whiplash, but ultimately he is alive and doing well. He is resting and nurse Brittany is here to take care of him.

Up until this experience, I always thought nothing bad could happen to me, that God wouldn't dare take someone as innocent as my brother away from me. But sometimes bad things happen to good people. I am so grateful that my brother is alive.

Please cherish your loved ones ALWAYS because you never know when they could be taken away from you. And BE SAFE WHILE DRIVING. 

Have a great day everyone. :)

The Definition of Fitness & Fitness Bullies

Hello guys. :)

I realize my blogging has become rather inconsistent, but I'm dealing with a lot of things in my life right now and the blog has had to take a backseat. I am seriously trying to find a more consistent pattern, so don't worry. :)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my own definition of fitness. What does it mean to ME to be fit? Everyone has their own definition of fitness and it can get quite irritating when someone refuses to acknowledge that everyone has their own opinions.

For me, my definition of fitness consists of lifting heavy weights, cycling in moderate/light weights, getting cardiovascular at least 3x per week (HIIT being the best form of cardio), stretching consistently, and doing some sort of metabolic conditioning.

(source)

This is MY definition. However, I am fully aware that someone else's definition differs drastically from my own. For some people, they define fitness as being able to run a full marathon. Some people say that it's all about mastering the art of yoga. Some people say that to be truly fit, you must be a powerlifter.

Everyone has their own niche. Fitness for me personally revolves around lifting weights. I love it, it keeps my mind healthy and it keeps my body healthy. But for someone who isn't into lifting and may be into running, powerlifting, yoga, Pilates, etc. I can completely understand and accept their definition of fitness.

It is really sad when I continuously see "fitness experts" (or so they think) blatantly shaming people for not following their definition of fitness and quite frankly being a fitness bully. "Oh, well long distance running increases your cortisol levels so you'll stay fat." "Lifting weights is really quite taxing on the body so it should be kept to a minimum." I could go on and on and on. 

The way I see it, as long as someone gets their BUTT off the COUCH, that is something to be proud of. To these "fitness experts" I would ask, would you rather them be sitting all day inhaling flaming hot Cheetos and Krispy Kreme donuts or finding some sort of way to be active even if it doesn't fit YOUR definition of fitness? Mhmm, that's what I thought.

And lastly, since I am already ranting at all, I cannot stand people who shame "fat people" for going to the gym. It disgusts me that someone has the audacity to say "Ew, why is that FAT person at the gym? They are so FAT. Why are they hogging the bike? They should leave." Uhmm, excuse me?! What do you think the gym is for?! So you can come and judge everyone since you're all high and mighty and mold to your own definition of "fit"?! That "fat" person is at the gym in the first place to TRY and make a difference. They wouldn't be there just to lounge around and stare at walls. They most likely realize that they need to take control of their health and getting themselves to the gym is the first step. Give them some credit. At least they are TRYING. They may not know exactly what "plan" is best for them at the moment but the start of a 1,000-mile journey begins with one single step, A.K.A. stepping foot in the gym.

(source)

Plain and simple, don't be a fitness bully. Don't shove your own definition of fitness down everyone's throat and preach to the high gods that you are right and everyone else is wrong. Don't judge others at the gym and worry about your own progress and improving yourself.

Rant over. Have a lovely day everyone. :)

Questions: What irks you about the fitness world? Have you ever been a fitness bully?